Humor Page
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Communication with the Doctor
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Cookies and Communication with Family An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way our of the bedroom, and with even great effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it nor for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heave: there spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shakingly made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral." |
Epitaphs from Tombstones
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In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you
walk by, As you are now, so once was I. |
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. |
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was It was. |
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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan
Pease. |
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. |
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies
Johnny Yeast.
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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna - Done to death by a
banana. |
In
a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The
Kid. |
A
lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. |
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Anna Wallace in a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them
manna. |
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune. |
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny. |
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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here
lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
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In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 |
